Fear # 40: Share an Awkward Moment with a Stranger.

that awkward moment... 
when you realize you have anthropophobia (social anxiety).

Every Saturday morning I attend a yoga class. Usually, I find myself fighting for a good spot, so I should have known something was off when there were only three of us in the studio. I reluctantly rolled out my yoga mat, sat down in front of the classroom, and patiently waited for the instructor to arrive. Ten minutes later, I glanced into the studio mirrors to find the other two students staring back at me. 
Feeling defeated, I began to roll up my yoga mat, and listened to a conversation between the other students: a homely woman and a meat-head man.

Homely woman: "Do you think class is cancelled?"

Meat-head man: "Must be. I asked the front desk, they said it was still on for today. But they obviously don't know anything." 

Homely woman: "Well, would you still like to hold a class? I wouldn't mind leading it." 

Meat-head man: "Nah, I'm just gonna stretch on my own for a minute and then go lift." 

Trying to ignore the situation that was inevitably heading my direction, I quickly gathered my things in attempts of sneaking out before the woman could catch me...

Homely woman: "Would you still like to do a class?" 

...She caught me. And I still have no idea why, but at that moment, I was curious enough to confront the uncomfortable situation of taking a one-on-one yoga lesson from an amateur-looking stranger.

Me: "Sure, why not."

I unrolled my yoga mat, and we awkwardly faced each other - about 5 feet apart. From this distance I was able to make a few more observations of my new "instructor": thick glasses, high-rise exercise pants, and socks. She wore socks. 
To yoga! 

Taking this lesson seriously proved to be difficult from the very beginning, as I tried to focus on calming my breathing patterns during our 'sun salutations'. Throughout the lesson, it became harder to hold in my giggles than it was to actually perform the exercises. And this was not due to the quality of the lesson; the strange woman had a surprisingly solid understanding of the art of yoga. No - I blame the temptation to burst into laughter during a downward dog on one single thought that continued to run through my head: "I am taking a private yoga lesson from a complete stranger in a very public place." Hahahaha! Still laughing about it.

During a few of the exercises, the woman asked if she could push down on my back or pull my hands to help me get a better stretch (Sorry lady, I don't like being touched)... Our ideas of what was socially acceptable among strangers were just slightly* different. Based on the uncomfortably-comfortable scene, any person that peeked into our improvised yoga lesson probably assumed that we had known each other for years - when we had only met 20 minutes earlier. 

We are different people, the stranger and I. She wears socks; I go barefoot. She does yoga to stay calm; I do yoga to challenge myself. She has no barriers in social situations; and I think everything is awkward. We were pretty peculiar to each other. I do not recall even asking her name, so this nameless woman will always be a stranger to me. But I learned one thing from this hilarious experience: just like balancing in uncomfortable yoga poses, uncomfortable situations challenge you to grow. You only gain strength by learning how to embrace and find inner peace amongst the awkwardness. We all just need to take a breath, let it go, and focus on the outcome.

Namaste. Namas-freaking-te.

Until the next fear. Inhale, exhale.... 

 -Courtney