Fear # 22: Take a Spontaneous Trip.

I am the ultimate planner. I plan out every hour of the day, prepare meals ahead of time, never drive with the gas on empty, check my bank account hourly (no exaggeration), and hardly ever deviate from the schedule I set in my mind. Once something is set, it is set in stone.

But as I inch closer to graduating college and heading into "real life", I am slowly realizing that life cannot always be perfectly planned out. And I think this lack of control scares me more than anything. 

A couple months ago, my roommates had talked about taking a trip to Disneyland sometime in the future. We looked into our options, and found this weekend in April to be the only possible time. But naturally, life got busy, and Disneyland didn't seem to be in the cards. Last week, the trip was mentioned in passing. We all loved the idea, but it was not logical… None of us had time or money, and being the weekend before finals? Maybe a bad idea. 

The night before we planned to leave, I still had no idea whether we were actually going or not. I told myself it would be all right to stay home, because I needed the weekend to finish up some final projects anyways… But by 5 o'clock on Thursday evening, we quickly packed our bags, hopped into the car, and were on our way. ON OUR WAY TO DISNEY!

 

We danced, we sang, we ate, we talked. #realtalk. Finally, 10 hours and 4 states later, we pulled into the Travelodge at 3 o'clock in the AM. It was exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time! I was fighting to keep my eyes open, and couldn't help but pass out as soon as my head hit the pillow. Needless to say, I usually plan out how many hours of sleep I get every night…. And well, the thought of having a full day at Disney running on 4 hours of sleep seemed insane and impossible. But for the sake of spontaneity, I set aside my planning fixation and lived…

And live, we did. We hit up every ride. We ate awesome food. We saw crazy strangers. We met the princesses! We ignored our aching feet and spent the best 14 hours at the happiest place on earth. What more can I say? From dawn to dusk at Disney…. 
NO REGRETS. 

I slept like a baby that night, and the next morning, I woke up feeling like a bus hit me. Disney hangover. With another full day of traveling ahead of us, I was suddenly anxious to get back to business. And then, it occurred to me that not once had I thought of my life's stresses…of school, of work, of the money I had just blown, of my future plans… and it felt incredible. For one entire day of my life, I actually lived in the moment. 

Yes, I know what you're thinking: A weekend vacation to Disneyland is not a fear.
Well, let me tell you… This is a fear when you leave 3 final papers at home waiting to be written, due Monday morning. This is a fear when you're left with $50 in your bank account for the rest of the month. This is a fear when you have no idea if you will find a job to pay for next month's rent (because you just dropped your entire savings on a ticket to Disneyland). Basically, this is a fear when planning your adult life is put on hold. While standing in the aftermath of this spontaneous trip, I am extremely nervous of how my financial/school plans will unfold… But before graduating and stepping into the "real world", I think it was about time that I acted my age. I am 22 years old, and every day I grow older. I will never be this young again. I have always acted pretty mature for my age - and it was time to stop planning out every detail of my future and start living for myself in the moment, just this once. We all deserve to be a little selfish - but just every now and then!
As I write this post, I am simultaneously (and frantically) finishing up 3 final research papers. But you know what? So worth it. 

Only in spontaneity can we be who we truly are.

-John McLaughlin

Through these chaotic and unpredictable times in life, we see who we are. The fear of the unknown does not have to be a threat - We can learn to thrive in this fear. More often than not, we have no control over what happens to us... but we do have control over how we live through these moments. Spontaneity is refreshing!

Thanks for following. Greater fears to come! Now, let's knock out these finals and graduate like there's no tomorrow.

-Courtney